More couples are living together than ever before, but the reasons men give for cohabiting—and the concerns they express about it—differ markedly from women’s, a new study shows. The study, forthcoming in the Journal of Family Issues, is based on in-depth personal interviews and focus group sessions with 192 young people in their late twenties. Approximately half the participants were men, half were women, and there were approximately equal numbers of white, Black, and Hispanic participants.Topics included positive and negative aspects of cohabitation, reasons couples might decide to move in together rather than date or marry, reasons not to cohabit, and the kinds of changes that might occur when a couple first moves in together.”Men and women expressed very different expectations for cohabiting relationships,” says Pamela Smock, a sociologist who directs the University of Michigan Population Studies Center, part of the U-M Institute for Social Research (ISR). “We found that responses varied by gender much more than they did by race or ethnicity, suggesting a substantial gender gap in the perceived role of cohabitation in the union formation process.”Overall, three key reasons for living together emerged: wanting to spend more time with one’s partner, wanting to share life’s financial burdens, and wanting to test compatibility. But the way men and women talked about these three broad reasons was very different.Women volunteered “love” as a reason to live together three times as often as men did, while men cited “sex” as a reason to live together four times as often as women did.Both men and women saw cohabitation as a temporary state in which to gauge compatibility, but major gender differences emerged in the underlying goals of living together. Women saw it as a transitional arrangement preceding marriage, while men tended to see it as a convenient, low-risk way to see if a relationship had longer-term potential, using terms like “test drive” to describe the arrangement.But the strongest gender differences emerged in the perceived disadvantages of cohabitation. Women believed that living together meant less commitment and legitimacy than marriage, while men saw the greatest disadvantage as a limitation on their freedom.Despite the gender mismatches in motives and expectations, Smock notes that young adults appear to see cohabitation as an expected part of life. “Ultimately, the clearest message was that living together is very much taken for granted. As a result, the upward climb in the proportion of young adults who cohabit is likely to continue for some time.”
Why are you living together?
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- About the Author
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is director of communications at U-M's Institute for Social Research. She also is a lead public relations representative at Michigan News, the University's central news service. Her areas of expertise include American culture, anthropology, consumer surveys, cultural anthropology, demographics, history, philosophy, religious studies, social sciences, sociology, and survey research. Follow her on Twitter: @swanbrow. - Social
A C - 1984
I hope that little money was spent on this study since the results could have been predicted by just about anyone who acknowledges the basic differences between men and women that have always existed and always will. To hold any surprise with these “findings” is sophomoric.
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Randy Chapman - 1985
I was excited when I saw the title of this article. Then I read it. I just hope it was an undergrad class project because I learned nothing from this information.
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E--e C -- - 1978
Ditto here to above comments….hope very little money used in the research and it is a freshman paper.
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Colin Edelman - 2006
I just hope the couples had to live in a mock house together and the entire thing was video taped so the public can see for themselves what it’s like to live together with 7 strangers in some sort of pseudo-reality.
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Y--wash 1973
I finally know what research activities UM Social Research Institute engages in! Beside being mentioned in CNBC news, I still have NO idea what other activities the Institute engages in.
You think some of this money can be used to help the poor around Detroit or in Michigan?, or help build Detroit?
You can learn more about recent ISR research on its news page –Editor
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E E - 2007
I was sorely disappointed to see the study appears to include only heterosexual couples. Might have been more informative to have same-gender couples and see if their opinions varied.
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Pat Sullivan - 1980 MSW
Some of the results of the study are not surprising. I think it is helpful to add objective evidence to “common knowledge” lest sex difference be attributed to false but commonly held ideas. A lot of what passes for common knowledge is based on prejudiced or outdated opinion.
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jeff coleman - 1978
The only thing surprising in this article is that someone thought this study revealed anything not obvious. Next up: A study reveals that people interviewed while standing out in the rain, reported that they were getting wet.
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Edward Preston - 1955
I’ve been married twice, once for 13 years and now for 37 years. My first wife is still a good friend. I’m just sorry the studies like this and the people studied seem to have no concept of the word “commitment” and the power it can have for good in a relationship. just an “old” thought, I guess.
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Joan Ford
I think couples live together because the “No Fault Divorce Laws” have devalued Marriage. 80 % of divorces are unilateral since thise law forces divorce. There is little respect or protection for the Married.
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Mary Smith - 68
The ISR’s research into a sensitive subject is worthwhile since this practice is going and probably will continue to grow. Particularly young women who are considered cohabiting with their boyfriends might take stock of the reported gender differences to evaluate if they really want to cohabit.
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Dana Dougherty - 2006
My generation did not pave the way for easy divorces – my parent’s generation did. “Kids these days” cohabitate because our parents broke with the social norms of the 1960s and 1970s.
I think we are choosing to cohabitate at a higher rate because we value the covenant of marriage and we don’t want to make the same mistakes our parents made. Marriage is a big deal, and I’m not going to sign that contract until my boyfriend and I are both certain we can make it.
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