(Image courtesy of U-M’s Bentley Historical Library.)

In the mid-1980s, 10 years before the Internet began to erase the distance between the wide-eyed college freshman and faraway family and friends, students in the Pilot Program (now the Lloyd Hall Scholars Program) were asked to write honestly about the transition from high school to college.

The results—many of them in the form of letters home to parents—were published in a short book, Students Talk About College: Essays from the Pilot Program, edited by two Pilot Program faculty members, David Schoem and William Knox.

The writings, as the editors said, were “inspiring, scary, discouraging, and different,” some happy and exhilarated, some anxious and sad. They offer revealing glimpses of student life before Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, when the phone was still attached to the wall, cameras required a thing called film, and music came out of a groundbreaking invention called the Sony Walkman.

Technology changes, but the concerns of these freshmen of 30 years ago might have been voiced a century earlier—or today.

Then, as now, college-level workloads startled many a student who had breezed through high school:

“Remember when I couldn’t wait to go to college because I thought the work would be easier?! Boy, was I in for a surprise. I know, you warned me. Well, this time you were right!”

* * *

“When I am up studying at 3 o’clock in the morning I no longer have you to yell at me to turn off the light. I know that it is time for me to discipline myself. I now appreciate all the times you told me to stop talking on the phone and do my work, or to turn off the light and go to bed.”

For many, a few weeks away from home was enough to shed new light on relationships with parents:

“At home it seemed as though you cared about and loved me so much that you were … afraid to let me develop my own individuality … At school I have the opportunity to explore my inner self. I have had time to think independently without immediately taking a defensive position … Mom and Dad, I want you to be proud of me for following my own beliefs … I pray that when I come home we can be united as a family again.”

* * *

“Before I came to college I never had to do anything on my own; even clothes shopping I still did with Mommy. Now the only one I have to rely on is myself.”

* * *

“Now I know why Mom would always say that college will help me to grow, even though I thought I was as grown up as I needed to be. Well, I admit to being wrong.”

The young men’s letters were circumspect about the other sex, but a number of young women spoke their minds:

“I came to school worrying about how I would meet boys. In the dorm, the atmosphere is very relaxed. One finds it more difficult to talk to boys at fraternity parties. I become self-conscious and think that everyone is judging me.”

* * *

“I’m dating real college boys. It is unbelievable. I’ve had two dates with three different guys. I didn’t have to call or beg either.”

The greatest concern was making new friends. But most freshmen discovered in time that strangers from different backgrounds were not so strange after all:

“I wish that I were more outgoing and had the courage to be friendly and talk around new people. Michigan is so big that one must learn how to be outgoing when it comes to meeting others … Fraternity parties and dorm parties are all overwhelming … The first few weeks of school I was too inhibited to go out and make friends. Eventually, I started to become friendly with the other kids on my floor. I realized that I had to leave my room and make an effort to meet people.”

* * *

“Every day I’m making fewer and fewer mistakes. Social errors have lessened because I’m listening before speaking. Life would have narrowed to middle America ideas if I stayed in Homer. Here, I’m getting an idea of other lifestyles.”

It was only a matter of weeks before many students sensed they had experienced a sea change:

“I think I’ve done more thinking, realizing, and growing in the last two months than I have in a long time.”

* * *

“It is not that home will never be the same; it’s that you will never be the same.”

* * *

“Before college, I thought that I would need someone to help me get through these four years. I feared that I would end up running back home. I haven’t done that though, and I won’t. I do miss everyone back home. I really hope that these next two weeks go by fast, because I can hardly wait to see you for Thanksgiving.”

* * *

(Image courtesy of U-M’s Bentley Historical Library.)

“Over two months ago you left me here feeling lonely, insecure, unsure of myself, and vulnerable … I would not be honest if I were to tell you that all these feelings are completely disappeared; however I am now understanding my feelings better and am better able to deal with them. I have learned so much about myself from being at college … I am finding myself feeling more confident and less intimidated; for as you both know, I tend to feel inferior to others. Here, though, I find I must be stronger than that. I have learned this, for the most part, through other people I have met. The variety of people here is tremendous! I am being exposed to people with backgrounds like mine, and also very different … Before I finish this letter and get back to my studying, there is one thing that I want to tell you: I miss you both very much … Thank you for your constant support, sorry about the phone bills, and thank you for giving me the chance to find the happiness I have found here.”

Do you remember your first few weeks at U-M? What would you have written home about?