Bittersweet reality

The Michigan campus is brimming with activity as students return to Ann Arbor and college life. Representatives from the hundreds of student organizations at U-M will soon be on the Diag at Festifall, recruiting new members and making new friends. One of those groups is the Arab-Jewish Alliance (AJA), described by co-president Jack Fidler as “a social club for college classmates to meet and hang out.” Founded in 2021, the group is focused on community-building, not politics.

As the Israel-Hamas war rages in the Middle East, Fidler and his co-president Fatimah (who prefers not to use her last name) share their thoughts on their “profoundly meaningful, though simple mission, knowing both how much it has meant to us and the potential it can have for others.”

The following Q&A was conducted over email.

Fatimah:
Before we say anything, I want to clarify that while we serve as the group’s leadership, we do not speak for every member of the group individually. Each member has their own beliefs, experiences, and affiliations. We are speaking strictly based on our own experiences, which we acknowledge are only partially representative of AJA’s story and impact.

Jack: Frankly, we find the attention and reactions we receive about the club and our mission a little bittersweet. While we understand the sensitivity and verbal gymnastics that emotionally charged subjects necessitate, at the end of the day, AJA is simply a social club for college classmates to meet and hang out. AJA requests no dues, enforces no attendance policy, and takes no political stance. We don’t say this to debase the impact of our group, which I can testify has been and continues to be one of the experiences/communities I’m most grateful for, but rather to shed light on the sad reality that classmates of different backgrounds hanging out has somehow become newsworthy. That said, we acknowledge that spaces like ours are absent across many deeply divided campuses/communities around the world and we’d be remiss to not take the opportunity to share our profoundly meaningful, though simple mission knowing both how much it has meant to us and the potential it can have for others.

How did you learn about the Arab-Jewish alliance and why did you choose to take on a leadership role?

Fatimah: I learned about AJA by chance when I walked by the group’s table during the 2022 Festifall. I was immediately interested and have been involved since. In terms of a leadership role, I chose to take one on to facilitate the continuation of the group. I don’t do much more than any other member, and we often brainstorm decisions around outreach and strategy together, including members old and new.

Jack: A common sentiment at the University of Michigan is that such a daunting school quickly becomes small as you progress through college. After learning this, I wanted to make a concerted effort of not pigeonholing myself on campus. When my friend Evan, one of the club’s co-founders, introduced me to AJA as an idea, I was excited at the opportunity to branch out towards another avenue of meeting people in college. I didn’t realize then how indebted I’d feel for him and his co-founder’s vision as AJA grew to be a central part and sincere highlight of my college experience. AJA has introduced me to some of the funniest, smartest, and kindest people I’ve ever met, and I’m proud to now call those people my friends. I am humbled to serve as co-president alongside the amazing Fatimah; and like she said, our club thrives on its awesome members. Our only real job is to facilitate the club’s continuation in the hopes others can have the positive experiences we’ve had.

How have things changed for you since Oct. 7 and what are your goals for the alliance for the school year?

Jack: Fatimah and I have been members of the club since its inception and first official meeting in 2022. We both enjoyed attending meetings and had the pleasure of building strong friendships with our clubmates in each subsequent meeting. Many if not all members of our community feel affected by events in the Middle East. And while our social club is by no means built to withstand crises, let alone those of global magnitude, we found that the understanding and camaraderie we’d built amongst ourselves as regular friends had incidentally fostered a safe space for people to work through complicated feelings while supporting one another.

We’re both excited to get back on campus and to continue supporting our members however we can. We look forward to eating lots of hummus, reuniting with old friends, making new friends, asking questions, learning, laughing, and fostering a space for students of relevant backgrounds to vibe! We hope our community might serve as inspiration for anyone who might not realize spaces like this exist and/or how meaningful they can be.

Fatimah: Another aim of ours is to grow the group. We have been thinking through the best ways to reach out to others and let them know that we exist and that our community is open to anyone who shares our goals of friendship and unity. We want AJA to continue after we graduate, so we are looking to pass on the leadership torches as well.

Have you met the women of Zeitouna and what are your impressions?

Fatimah: Yes! They are an incredible group of dedicated women: wise, thoughtful, and inspiring.

Jack: The women of Zeitouna are strong, compassionate, and also very funny.

Talk about the role dialogue plays in the AJA and how your experience in the alliance impacts other aspects of your life.

Fatimah: While dialogue is an important part of our group, we see it as a byproduct of the friendships we have built within the group, similar to the way you would chat about politics or the news with a close friend. We don’t have dialogue for the sake of it, per se, rather we have connected with one another to an extent where many of us are comfortable discussing our perspectives on current events together. It is not the main focus, but we believe it has strengthened our connection to one another. The result of this is that I feel really hopeful that this kind of community is replicable, and that greater understanding and unity between groups is possible.

Can you share your thoughts on the art of listening? Few of us do it very well.

Fatimah: As with any relationship, listening is really foundational to developing trust and understanding between members of the group. When thinking about our “dialogue” conversations, I think the most important part of listening has been to do so without agenda. We don’t listen to debate, to argue, or to change others’ minds. We try to do so in order to understand how another member of our community is feeling and why. We hold space to think through things, to feel contradictory ways, and to not have an answer.