Obviously, we had to kick off with some low-hanging fruit. But this poor squirrel can’t seem to find any of his own.

U-M canceled classes Jan. 30-31, 2019, due to subzero temperatures. The lowest temperature ever recorded since U-M began collecting temperature data in 1881 is 23 degrees below zero on Feb. 11, 1885.

No record-breaking, sub-zero temperatures can possibly get in this fashionista’s way. That pop of purple and our co-ed’s sassy handbag might as well sing, “Let it go.”

The 2019 Farmers’ Almanac billed its 2018-19 winter outlook, which called for (and delivered) “teeth-chattering cold” across much of the nation, as “flake news.” Hmmmmm.

Sure, some radio stations banned Frank Loesser’s 1944 hit, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” this winter, but the temperatures in Michigan continued to plummet. That song, by the way, won an Oscar for best original song from the 1949 film Neptune’s Daughter. Apparently, some modern-day programmers felt the lyrics were out of touch with the #MeToo movement.

U-M closed for two days in January 1978 when the area was blanketed with 19 inches of snow. The Michigan Daily reported at the time that students threw an outdoor beach party and spent the day lounging in snowdrifts while the Beach Boys’ “Endless Summer” blared somewhere in the background.

We’ve heard of burning rubber. But freezing rubber? This cyclist risks the dangerous road conditions in an attempt to reach his destination faster.

If students and other visitors are willing to brave the extreme weather to enjoy the University of Michigan Museum of Art, the least U-M can do is clear the path. And don’t forget: It’s warm in there!

The undead White Walkers in the HBO series Game of Thrones seem to favor the sub-zero temperatures much more than the average U-M student.

The myth that U-M classes can’t be canceled because a distraught Law School student sued the University for a day’s tuition following a snow day in the 1970s is unfounded. “Although there has been a long-standing rumor about such a suit, the University’s Office of the General Counsel has not found record of it,” University spokesman Dave Reid told the Michigan Daily in 2006. Do you know differently?